Getting the memo


I am told I was born (u think I want to write ‘with a silver spoon? Or without’ abi? Shioor) on the 5th of October in the earliest Nineties (90s)…People say I am part of this generation (I’m still trying to figure out how true this is though). Let me break it down a bit, for you ‘generational’ people…

First, I am trying to understand how these àGGMUB, LLNP, HML, HFD, GM, GN, LUL, HCD and several others like that, serve as forms of greetings. Like do you people wake in the morning and say GM to your folks and pow, you are out? I am worried for the subsequent generations. If people so young and even older ones regard this as being in the groove, then what does the future hold for those to come? I hope your kids will not answer questions as “Hey dear, how did your day go?” with “VWTUNM”. I bet you all don’t know a thing of that (Very Well Thank You Nothing Much), you see? It’s just annoying.

I am also still trying to place the Intelligence Quotient of a lot of this ‘generation’ people. When a twenty-something  year old guy, undoubtedly young, fresh from the university has nothing more worthwhile to do than sit 24hours of a day ‘bbm-ing’ or arguing soccer or staying glued to ‘Football Manager’, what can his IQ  level be? How rational can this individual be? Honestly! Or a young woman that’s only concerned with changing Peruvian hair, staying up-to-date with BBA and writing down lyrics to Beyonce’s or Adele’s, instead of occupying yourselves with positive, relevant knowledge. Wait! Isn’t this just wrong in every sense of it? I am very sure, 100%, that 9 out of every 10 university graduate in Nigeria here can barely name 10 countries in the world with their capitals. 10 countries!  out of the 196or so countries in the world. Like the people of the generation that I think I belong to would say, “Ori yin ti ku”. It’s appalling. When a person over 20years doesn’t know, I don’t know how a 15 year old will. Those ones are another story entirely.  (See #DearFutureChildren, if I ever catch you watching an entire movie on Afmag, I shall NOT hesitate to incarcerate you. Yes, incarcerate!)

Have I mentioned the names this ‘generation’ people call themselves, facebook definitely carries the worst. Ranging from Mc da Zanga, to Horlawhaley to Drew or Walexii or Fanta!!! There’s just too many crazy of them. I am proudly Monsurah, proudly! A name my wonderful parents proudly blessed me with. I’m not saying I do not have a nickname, I do. But it doesn’t sound anything like ‘zanga-related’.  Do I need to go to ‘their’ fashion style? It’s accursed. Male and female. ‘Rich’ or poor. I honestly cannot relate with seeing a guy’s pair of ‘fugly’ boxers (some of them are fine tho, but who really cares?). Does this exposure increase your chances of getting to heaven’s gates? HELL YEAH FXCKING WRONG! (Note: #DearFutureHusband, I reserve my intended comment. You are trusted enough to respect yourself). Need I talk about ‘ma ladies’? *heavy breath* I cry when I see them. Forget the color-blocing; focus on the tight-fitting dresses. How can a lady weighing over a 100kg feel comfortable wearing ‘leggings’ and blazers? I’m not even talking about the combination; I am just irritated by the ‘gory’ sight. Yes, gory. These people should be sued!!!

Need I talk about the general attitude towards making or spending ‘cheddars’? Excuse me, I do not get the memo when your father or mother doesn’t earn a 6-figure salary, you do whatever you do to make some ‘change’, change, and the next thing you do is ‘blowing the money fast’. Whatever happened to you investing?  You are not sad my dear. You are worst than pathetic!

Oh! I almost forgot the ‘twit-fights’ between 25year olds. Chei, I even remember seeing a 28year old man doing the peace sign to pose in a picture. And those annoying ones that take pictures to show their ipads or blackberry phones or international passports or wheels, and the list goes on. I weep for you. Serious weeping!

Several years down, and I am still battling with getting this generation’s memo! This sad generation!! *sigh*

Note: I am not completely innocent o, as I still take pictures of ‘Food’ too. X_X…







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