Spare the Child

Standard

*Clears tipper-load of web* The young woman has been on a long break (which i am actually tired of now), but hopefully, She is back again (for a while, maybe :D)….moving on, this new category focuses on personal opinions on issues (which may not necessarily be exclusively right n bla bla bla, but MY OPINIONS tho)…Please enjoy the very first post on this:

********************************************************************

Ah ah! Looking back at those years now, growing up was fun. Really fun, even the beatings, FUN! In recent times, I sit and reminisce and just laugh. I’m amazed at how hysterical I can go about those times. But trust me, back then, it was no fun. My mum was a good ‘whipper’, very skilful one and she could beat for reasons which include ‘writing your assignments on your bed’.  She was good with those lasting strokes you wouldn’t forget. Pop man on the other hand was a rash lasher, anything goes, leaving ‘fine’ prints on your temple like a typical ‘da viva’ cloth. That was what we called ‘egba’. I got the least beatings though, I was too butty for cane *looks away*Now that’s MY family. It’s different in other places and among other people. Personally, I am yet to see beating as anything asides baleful. I see it as a way of oppressing young people or just another means of manifesting anger or aggression which is usually towards the younger folk of course. I remember my final year in Secondary School when the Principal nearly killed me because he ‘caught’ me skipping a class. He simply walked me into the class and asked why I was out at that time, and the teacher was in no way supportive. I received 14 hot strokes that day, without ‘Princi’ understanding my reason for not being in class which I considered very genuine. He didn’t even give me chance to talk. Loool… I know y’all are waiting for the reason…call me to find out..:p.. Anyways, it was accounts class which my folks sort of over cajoled me to take. I didn’t like the course a bit and from the beginning I had psychologically failed. Unfortunately or to make matters worse, the teacher of that subject was well over 70years. He was a very old and uninteresting individual. That was just more salt to the injury, hence, my continued dislike for the subject, hence, my reason for continued skipping. I didn’t know a thing of accounts, I didn’t like it and the teacher wasn’t at all helpful. Eventually, I FAILED FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING IN MY WAEC EXAM- ‘D’.

The day I concluded that ‘beaters’ need counselling sessions was when I visited someone sometime, and quite unfortunately, I witnessed ‘beating of life’. I don’t clearly remember what the child did, but I recollect vividly that I shed tears with the child as she was being ‘disciplined’. It went from wire to canes to ‘omorogun’ to bottles to shoes. That was one hell of a beating.  Sadly, it was a girl child..:( The father was shouting, the child was crying and the mother sef was shaking. In my head I was just like WTF?!!! Seriously, whatever this child did, it did not warrant that she be treated that way, why don’t u just go ahead and slaughter her, so u save urself physical, mental and emotional stress which I know are inevitable after that episode of ‘WWW’s royal rumble’… Yorubas have this adage that goes (Omo ole buru titi ka gbe fun ekun pa), I think that’s how it goes… It literally means that no matter how difficult a child may be, the parents or family will not serve him to a lion as its prey. So why kill your kids with your hands?

I have argued this issue with different people cutting across different phases of life and of course they have varying stands concerning ‘beating a child’. Some are of the opinion that children MUST be beaten and that parents who ‘fail’ to beat their kids have the worst. Some argued that yes beating is highly encouraged and welcome, but should stop when the child gets to a certain age. And that makes me remember one of my family friends; the father still beat him in his 3rd year in school, UNIVERSITY o.

Despite their attempted explanations tho, I am not yet very much convinced with regards to beating a child. I am very sure there are parents who have raised highly responsible kids without employing beating as a means of correction or ‘reinforcement’ as someone stated. Not only do I not support the manner that people use in beating, I can almost sometimes bxxtch slap grown-ups for reasons for some beatings. I mean, why on earth will you want to kill a 10 year old because he has refused to eat, saying he is not hungry?

When I brought up the issue of how the West deal with their kids, a lot of people condemned ‘such drivel’ (the exact words a friend used..Imagine the anger) and quickly rose to criticisms, claiming that the absence of beating of children is the main cause of the rampant dysfunctions among them. Some ‘good people’ are of the opinion that the beatings their parents gave them then, are part of the reasons for their successes today. Well, I have cousins who are citizens of the United Kingdom and who I have never seen or heard their parents beat and have turned out to be wonderful kids. I mean Wonderful, in all sense of the word. And on the other hand, I have a direct case of an individual who his parents beat almost every day of his life and has turned out to be a college dropout, a tout and a very irresponsible being, which eventually means that all the beatings could NOT achieve a thing.

Like this category reads, it is a perspective, my opinion™. I’d love to read your stance on this issue via the comment box :D…Till then, SPARE THE CHILD AND ROT THE ROD! *Chaow*(remember him in Hangover?)

Advertisements

15 responses »

  1. I agree with your thoughts on this. You have a progressive approach which also takes into account cultural and religious ideals. Hopefully there are a lot more of the younger generation that have the same thought process.

  2. Nice write up..but no i do not agree with you that we shouldn’t beat out children..there’s a difference howeva between beatin as a means of discipline and physically assaulting ur kids..which is what some people do in this part of the world..also beating alone isn’t the only answer..u can give constructive punishments..ground ur kids..there’s no single formula to raising one’s kids..and attimes parents just grope in d dark and try to do the best for their kids..but  dnt think u honestly believe such drivel about d method the west adopts whereby u can’t beat ur kid..omo u be yoruba..!an oyinbo kid of 12 fit tell u as him mama say u are crazy!are u meaning to tell me u’l just smile and say ooh good child u av done well!lai lai…i trust the genes mummy oke passed to u..bottom line i beating is good..na d excessive one wey no good..

    • looooooool….*my stomach o*…(whispers to you: i’m softer than mummy oke o)….I clearly understand u ma’am and i am especially glad about the distinction : beating as a means of discipline not an assault..Thank you very much.

  3. I’m gonna train ma kids without beating dem. And nobody, i mean nobody would be allowed to touch dem. It doesnt solve any situation but rather worsens it. Only God knows d child who will be successful, beating or no beating!

  4. Mmm. Good to see ‎​u slowly veering into writing too. If I had known ‎​u were this good, I’d have taken d eulogies you tendered, on d instance of my writing, with a pinch of salt. Because of myself, I read your story critically. I’d bring my observation to you via BBM. Good work. Cheers.

  5. u have a very good argument.with my experience with kids(even though i dont av 1 yet),my theory has been:’threaten with d rod,convince with d tongue’.what i mean is at times u nid beat a child at 4 d child 2 appreciate when decide to admonish him by d tongue only.Children differ, some wud require minimal or no beatin at all 4 them 2 listen 2 instructions,while some require form of beating(not assault) 4 them 2 change.The truth is that the most effective form of punishment actually is ‘strenous’ punishments like ‘frog jump’,e.t.c.What i feel is most important is that even though u decide to use the rod,u need to make the child understand the implication of what he/she did and realise his/her mistakes.Growing up,we were exposed to the rod bt as time went on we were just scolded n we changed our ways.In summary,a child needs to be exposed to the rod once in a while 4 d child 2 appreciate d tongue.GOOD COUNSELLING shudn’t b under-estimated as it is the most important aspect of a child’s upbringing.

  6. Wooow ! I can now see the reason why i named u a special one . Keep it up my adorable!

    My comment goes thus ;

    A child should be checked appropriately when necessary and medium in which you use in cautioning a child is definitely not through beaten . A difficult child can become a more unserios child when he\she already known u wld only beat them when they do something that’s not good.

    Bringing up a child ; parents should be friendly,let the kids know what is right from what’s wrong,if a child does something wrong , we should make him/her realise the mistakes and provide a way foward to prevent future occurence.Kids actually appreciate it when they are free to talk to their parents anytime they feel like . We shoudnt be raising our voice at our kids its not good , it creates fear in them .Parents should always listen to their kids that goes along way to make them a better child in future . Ejo o ema lu omo yin o egba ma yi omo lori ni o

  7. Nice write up. Personally, discipline is different from assault. Most parents that go by the rod tend to assault than discipline nd in the end, the purpose of the “beating” becomes futile. Kids are not animals and as a matter of fact, only stubborn animals are beaten. Well trained animals obey their owners not to talk of human beings. Some children would become resistant to the beatings since that’s what he/she expects as a means of correction. There are better disciplinary methods than beating I.e House arrest, silent treatment et.c. #In My Opinion.

  8. I’d reserve beating to discipline kids on rudeness so I don’t think I’ll completely spare the rod. But on every other thing, I’ll talk to kids, let them know why they have to do what they’re being asked to do or not do… a luxury most of us were never afforded, before the rod was called upon.

  9. ..dis is reeeaaalllyyy up dere..set da rules..remind dem of da rules..remind dem again..den remind dem again..(by now she z in d university)..let her kno ‘girl its ur lyf nau,to make d best of it, ts al in ur hands ooo’..did i say ‘beat’?…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  10. Nyc writeup!
    I dnt think ‘sparing the rod’ totally will do.
    From my little experience with kids…as much as you dont want to beat them, sometyms dey still tempt you to threaten them with the rod or even beat them…to drive home ur point…Tho, if u culd explain or make dem see why they have to do or not do something dat’ll be better
    i also think beating kids…which usually results in assaults….has done more harm dan gud in d society…Badtempered ppl shuldnt beat their kids abeg
    not beating dem at all culd also be harmful!
    The basic thing is train ur kids well and learn to use the appropriate measures to discipline dem….

  11. So basically, i’m thinking the recent generations do not necessarily ‘support’ beating children as a means of training or correction. God bless you all…my points exactly..:D…..(if it was a debate, then i guess i’ve won)…*wink*

  12. Funny, we talked about this in camp. I’d beat my child if need be, but their is something called caution and it must be exercised when handling the fragile pyscological system of a child. You try never to over do it and not to under do it. I must also add that beating a child should always be last resort, their are other subtle ways to correct a child.

Share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s